…reaslising that its a long long way to the top. but really what is the top? riches? fame? accomplishing some great task, setting a record or performing some feat?
I think the top is whatever you want it to be. and you can set it anywhere you want and tackle it any way you want. at the moment im chosing small climbs at a time. like a staircaise. one step at a time and you dont know what the next step really looks like until you’re directly beneath it. but you know that at the top of the next step there is anything you want. hmmm starting to not really make sense and sounding like a wanker but just making sense of it all.
the goals that are exciting me at the moment are a list of things that i am planning on buying over the next few pay days (pretty much up until my birthday) and then saving money and buying other things when i think of them. essentially im trying to buy things that will give me something to do with my time.
i know this all sounds pretty basic and boring, but its kinda all ive got at the moment. i will fail this semester again and my plan is to plead with the unsatisfactory progress committee (for like the fifth time) to give me ONE LAST CHANCE because im pretty sure ive got my head screwed on the right way now and the idea of learning and gaining a degree/qualification really excites me.
but ive got to be prepared for the worst (ie getting kicked out of uni) but so far i dont have a plan of attack if that happens. i would keep working at coles (boo) or find another enty level job. or i could wait till dad has a job vacancy then move to benalla and study accounting at la trobe part time while i work. but theres not a whole for me in benalla regardless of the easy lifestyle.
but anyway i must get off tumblr and try to get to sleep so that i dont sleep in till 3pm again and waste my own time. its just so hard to break out of this pattern. im like a bloody newborn baby.
night
